Family Evolution

I love my family. I have my dad, my mum & 5 younger siblings. Theyre not perfect, but thats what makes them MY family. My family went through a few phases of change throughout the years. Some for better, some for worse. During the course of my childhood, I watched as my family grew from only me to all 6 of us. It wasnt luxurious or extravagant but it was just as awesome. I left the house to study when I was 19 & went to Shah Alam.

During this time, my family when through a series of changes so fast, that I couldnt change with them. Ive been myself when I was 19, a little different here and there, but the 19 year old adam is still here. But my family, sigh.. They were.. Different.

Doing things that we dont usually do.

Going places we dont usually go.

Things that wasnt akward before became akward.

Things that would have been awkward before, became normal.

Do's and dont's shifted places.

Secrets became public, and things that we usually share, we dont.

And the list goes on. I know that change is inevitable, but I wished that I could change with them. But I cant. When I left the house, I remained who I was. And I made a subconscious oath to myself not to compromise who I am. After a few more years outside of the house, I came to accept the changes in my family, because even with so much of drastic changes, I can still see the family I knew when I was 19.

Currently, I'm thousands of miles away from home. I think about my family all the time, with the vague memories of my family the last time I saw them and the vivid memory of my family when I was young. Probably because the family we grew up with is always more pure and innocent. Once we grow up, we learn that things arent just rainbows and butterflies.

With calls I keep in touch with my parent, with facebook, I keep in touch with my siblings. Today, I saw photos of my mum, oldest sister, and youngest brother having lunch. The people in the photos looked just like how my childhood family would have looked, but they werent those people. They were my new family. I can see clearly the differences.

1. my family doesnt own a digital camera, my parents were so against it

2. we, the kids, dont go facebook all the time, were limited to the internet on weekends

3. we never eat out, except to fastfood joints 8 times a year or when we travel

4. we would always go as a family, and pack for those who couldnt come

5. mum was so against outside food that we werent allowed to have any

All this seemed so ancient now, now my sis posts pictures of just the 3 of them eating outside food, and its normal. Im out of words to explain how this feels. Sigh.. I only hope that even though Im the same like I was before, they would still love me. Theyre the only family I have.