2010

There's no better time to reminiscence the events of the past whole year than on new year's eve.

So here it is. Some memorable events of 2010.

1. Had a job, quit, drop everything & went mengejar cita-cita.

2. Took my first flight & came to Manipal, India.

3. Met new people, nice ones & not so nice ones.

4. Dissected a real human being.

5. Survived the first out of many exams.

6. Lost my Nike Shoes & broke my mp3 player.

7. Found my soulmate, Naziera Kuzaimah.

8. My first Aidilfitri away from home.

9. Became a prosector.

10. Had my first root canal.

11. Celebrated 4th November overseas.

12. My first New Year outside of Malaysia.

BSNL: Bull Shit No Line

The first time I got here I was excited to get my connection cause it’s the one thing that relates me home. Being far and all, kinda makes it essential. At that time there were 2 choices. Either I take the campus’s ION, or a private company, BSNL. After much consideration, I took BSNL, cause my ION signal strength wasn’t strong. After a few days of going back and forth to BSNL and paying quite a large sum of money I finally get my connection.

The first time I tried, I couldn’t get my laptop to detect the modem’s signal. I tried so many times, to no avail. As a desperate attempt, I tried to use the LAN cable given together with the modem. By sheer luck, it worked & I got my connection. This is actually wasting money because I could have went with the normal modem & not the wireless one. But I was contented enough & just stuck with the cable.

I heard a few bad comments on facebook on how bad BSNL is. My batchmates had statuses all about the same thing. Something I remember was BSNL=Bull Shit No Line. I didn’t thought much of it cause I did get connected after all. Not exactly what I payed for, but I guess that’s just how things work in India.

Things were okay at first, there were times when there was no connection, but I guess that’s just how it is in India, and it was never for too long. Even after I came back here after the 1 month break, it was still quite okay. But then, after a few weeks, the problems began to escalate. My laptop was disconnected more than it was connected. For it to get connected, I had to restart the laptop a couple of times. And each time, it was a gamble. Sometimes I would finally get connected, sometimes never. This persisted for a few months, but I was patient. I didn’t need the internet that badly anyways.

Still, we all have our limits. Mine was last month. For the whole of October, and November, I didn’t have connection. At one point of time I wanted to stop the service, because I know I’ll be paying for nothing if I didn’t stop. But I was too busy. Still, my need for internet was filled because I would stop at Jon’s room to use his net. It’s a good thing that he’s such a good guy. I guess it was partly my fault for never complaining to BSNL, but hey, I’m a medical student, I don’t have time. Seriously.

In the end, I finally found some time to go to BSNL. I brought the whole thing, planning to stop the service. But when I got there, I thought of giving BSNL a second chance. I told the guy at technical service that I don’t have connection for the last 1 month, and I heard him say. ‘That’s your problem.’ I mean dude, know that I still have to pay, I didn’t say anything about not paying. I’m not that stupid and eventhough I’m not a scholar, I’m not that poor. But since he mentioned it under his voice, I chose to ignore it. He then asked me to bring my laptop which I didn’t at that particular time, so I went back the next day with the laptop too. Good thing it was a different guy. Much more helpful. So I thought. He said ‘Any problem, you call this number’. I went back home & set everything up. Nope. No line. I called, he said to wait a few minutes. Huh? My grandmother could give better advice. And obviously it didn’t work.

I couldn’t find another time to go to BSNL until after I received the bill for the month I didn’t have connection. It was kinda stupid, and I did the exact same thing I swore to myself I won’t do. I swore never to have to pay for connection that I never use. Cause my mum did the same thing, just so that we don’t buang mase main internet. Sigh.. It’s true what they say. The more you try not to be like your parents, the more you become them. Neway, I went to BSNL for the last time, wanting to ask how to stop the connection. The lady said it’s possible, I just have to fill the form. I wanted to, but dunno why i just told her I cant connect to the net & she obviously directed me to technical support.

I was at the place again, but a different person was there. I told him my problem as usual, but this time i simply said no connection for 1 week because he couldn’t care less how long it was. He asked me for my number and said he’ll call and check it out the next day. I was skeptical, but still kinda hopeful. He said he’ll come at 4pm, so after dissection, I straight away came home, and not spending any relax time outside. I waited and waited and he never came. But it was expected.

I was about to give up when suddenly I got internet the next morning. Wow. I was on the net for a few hours before I went to the library to study. The guy called when I was at the library, but since I got back my connection, I don’t see any reason to trouble him to come to my hostel, so I told him ‘Internet working boss, it’s okay, thank very much’. Oh how I regret those words. Because when I came back, no more line. Sigh.. It was worse than not having connection, having it and losing it again. And passing a chance of having the technician come and check out my landline.

By this time, I’m already sick of BSNL and decided just to live on Jon’s internet while still paying for mine. I know that sounds way stupid. But I do get connection once every few days or so. Guess it’s like I’m paying for a very expensive and unreliable internet connection. Truly, BSNL = Bull Shit No Line.

Ron & Hermoine

No one ever said finding for love is an easy task.

Sometimes you get hurt & sometimes you hurt people.

But the thing about love is, like life.

Its unfair.

Some people find the one who is perfect for them.

Some, not so much of a perfect fit, but they stay happy.

Others are less fortunate, either ended up with the wrong person,

or never finding it at all.

Still, why do people try so hard anyways?

Well, its because, every drop of tear & every crack of a broken heart

is worth it.

Love, is a risk worth taking.

Like any risk, you have to put something on the line.

In this case, its your own heart.

The heart is a fragile little thing, and shatters easily.

But like most sayings go, time is the best healer of the heart.

Once youre hurt, get off the horse for awhile, and when you feel better,

you get back into the game.

Love can be found in a million of ways.

Some by luck. Some by effort. & some by fate.

It can be in a form of a friend,

it can come as a form of affection,

it can even come as a form of desperation.

On the subject, some people are desperate for love.

Its understandable as humans need the love and affection of another to survive.

And to me, one's quest for love is an admirable one.

However lame or terrible it may be, once a person starts on such a quest,

he or she is a noble enough person to try.

The responsibility of others to this quest is to aid them.

Doesnt necessarily saying yes is the answer, rather,

a no could make significant changes in the person, making him or her a better person.

Unfortunately, during this period of time, some dwell on the answer of yes and no.

Fluctuating between a possible future together or none what so ever.

This is truely a difficult time a person

It is actually the most grousome part of the story.

Here, the person have to decide on his of herself what is best for them.

On the other hand,

Some people refuse love, with reasons of having responsibilities, commitments

or some other valid reason,

arent actually rejecting love, just to scared to put their hearts on the line.

Saying no to love or the chance of love is like rejecting part of your own soul.

A part that is yours, lost since the beginning, & now youre looking for it.

As mentioned earlier, love is a risk worth taking,

and if ever love tries to find you, you should answer.

It may not be a perfect fit at first glance, but thats much better than waiting for one.

Or finally thinking youve found the fit after so long,

only to find out that it isnt.

However it may be, love is worth to be tried. Even it its not the one,

the experience you gain from the attempt, will take you one step closer

to finding the one.

Actually this post is a result something that I found out today,

which reminded me of how it was like for me.

I had my share of the quest for love. It may still be ongoing.

But what I saw today was something that I could understand.

Ron, I know youre trying to find love. Its admirable that you try so hard.

But at the same time love needs effort, it also needs patience.

Give her some space, but still be caring.

You know that to some, you dont deserve hermoine, but thats now,

in the future it could be the other way around.

So hang in there!

PS: please at least TRY to be cool. I know its hard, but just try.

Hermoine, I know youre saying youre not interested.

But deep down, I know that youre just scared, & maybe a part of you

thinks that you deserve better.

Thats just not how love operates. Love surpasses race, stature, looks,

background & everythingelse.

Its much greater than you. At least give him a chance, he could prove

to be better than he presents himself.

PS: please dont think that youre too smart, even with regards to love,

sorcery is nothing like love.

MISSING

mas & me

me & jaam

adam, ada, me, sandra, shangeetha & vanessa

maksu shahidah & me

I found out that I respond to missing home kinda differently.

I find comfort in faces of those who are similar to those I know back home.

They can be my relative, a close friend, or just an acquaintance.

I may not be close to real them, but I tend to be very fond of their dopplegangers.

Is that freaky? Jaam would say, 'Ko kan pelik'. Haha, Guess that's true.

I have people here saying the same thing. Titi, 'Adam, kau ni pelik lah'. Haha.

I like the girl who takes care of the bag place at the library.

I would hope that she would be there when I got to the library.

And when she is there, we would exchange smiles.

I like her,

Cause she looks like Shangeetha.

I sayang Shangeetha lots & I think that were both great.

Both of us manage to survive a very complicated & hurtful part of friendship.

She's so much beautiful than she thinks. She's sweet, loves her family, and knows her responsibilities. She has a great smile, and a laugh like the sunshine.

Out of all the dopplegangers, I miss her the most.

I like a batch 23 senior cause he looks like Jaam.

I was going through facebook, and I saw his profile.

I was like, he seems like a nice guy, Ive seen him around.

I want to add him.

Then I was like, WHAT? I don't even know the guy.

Just because he looks like Jaam.

I knew Jaam as a colleague, but now he's one of my bestest friends.

He's the only Malay friend that I'm actually close with.

Finally my parents can give a sigh of relief. Haha.

Jaam is intelligent, determined and is a person of principle.

Sometimes, he's my inspiration.

But he's cursed. The poison of magic the gathering runs through his veins.

And now I'm cursed too. Haha.

Well, as long as were cursed together, I'm okay with it.

In the future, we'll just be 2 old guys with phDs playing cards.

That's not weird right?

I like Izza cause she looks like my aunt Shahidah.

Izza is my MSA boss. A hard core boss too. Haha. Hope she doesn't see this.

She's fair, has big eyes, athletic and participates in club activities.

And tough. Just like my Maksu Shahidah.

My aunt is 7 years older than me, she was in std1 when I was borned.

She's happily married with 3 kids going on 4.

People may feel she's kinda endearing at times,

but I feel that she's just perfect the way she is.

She's independent, determined and doesn't care what other people say,

An attribute that I respect and wish that I too can be like her.

She accomplished so much more when she was my age.

Now I can only study hard and make her proud.

I like a batch 27 junior cause she looks like Mas.

I don't know her name, but she's very pretty.

I think her boyfriend is a Radhi OAG wannabe, but Im not here to judge.

She looks like Mas. An RPS student.

At the time when I knew Mas, she was having a complicated love-life.

But I think thats settled.

I was kinda close to her and her gang.

Previously known as 'The Dangerous Gang', currently known as 'The Begonia Crew'

Honestly telling I like the previous name better. seriously,

The 4 of them are awesome. Mas, Jambu, Ateen & Fatin.

But they're all grown up now & they don't think hanging out with their

teacher is cool anymore. Especially when they all have

Radhi OAG wannabe boyfriends. Haha...ha.... :(

I like Ain cause she looks like Iza.

The first time I saw her I felt like there's something about her,

but I cant quite place my finger on it.

Then after a few days I found out why.

She looks almist exactly like Iza.

Hm.. Me and Iza didn't exactly part in best of terms.

We got to know each other, went on 2 dates, both at mcDs.

It was quite nice, too bad it didn't last.

It was my mistake mostly, and I kinda feel bad about it sometimes.

I started first, cause I thought there was chemistry between us.

But when she started playing hard to get, I bailed.

I know it's just a play, and it's not a no.

And most of the times can be read as a yes.

But at that time I just didn't put in my bestest effort.

Maybe after getting to know her, I know that i wasn't the one.

And I didn't like that she had ALOT of guy friends.

She went to do an umrah recently.

I like this Chinese guy from 27 cause he looks like Hafis

At first I mistook him for the guy that Naziera doesnt like.

And always ignored him. He's face was a little too sweet too.

But I always felt something about him thats familiar.

Then one day infront of AS it hit me,

He was exactly like Hafis, only taller. LOL.

Hafis was my housemate back in Perdana, he managed the house really.

He's an awesome guy. I admire him quite abit.

He's determined, hardworking, responsible & quite mature.

But at the same time, he had exquisite taste in music & television.

He's doing MBBS in MSU now, & trust me when I say, MSU is lucky to have him.

He stays up every night & only sleep fm 4-7/8pm the next day. WTG?

There's more, but these are the ones that I see often.

I don't necessarily miss them, I just like the people who look like them here.

But some I really do. I feel like spending time with the people here.

Ow. Now THAT sounds freaky. Me spending time with the girl at the bag place?

Talk about stigma. But I want to. That's how much I miss home.

WORDPRESS

WORDPRESS is awsome!

I would love to have my blog there, but it's too much of work & too much of time to get it done, time I don't have. Sigh.. Maybe one day after I'm old and retired.

Anyway, today I felt the feeling of utter defeat. I always thought of myself to be an unpolished but talented writer, at least among by peers. Sadly, I was terribly wrong. Me thinking that I may have talent, is a disgrace to writers everywhere.

I agree that education, childhood, interest etc plays an essential role in whether you turn out to be a great writer or otherwise. But I think the gift of writing is just what it is. A gift. It's either you have received it, or you haven't. And that's determined when you write your first sentence.

A talented writer writes with passion, precision and creativity. He's an artist, word are his paint, blank pages are his canvas. Some may understand the depth of his art, some just perceive it as just another page. I myself don't comprehend the art of Literature, English or Malay. I wish I could. But.. I know enough to respect those who know this art.

Defeated I was today. By a mere girl at first glance. But with a pen and paper, she can slaughter you with her words. I felt ashamed at first. But then I realized. So what if I'm not gifted. The art of writing is for everyone, and the ability to write is a gift itself.

You need not bombastic words, perfect control of grammar, witty remarks or vast knowledge of arts and science. All you need is the pleasure of writing.